The ups and downs of life-

The last 7 months has been a bumpy ride. I began the year with a new job, an exciting new start. I was little nervous to tell the truth, I had never worked in the public service before and I didn’t know what the ABS (Australian Bureau of Statistics) would hold. I knew though that God was with me. I had been working in customer service the year before and I had been praying for a new job for some time. After applying for a number of jobs as laboratory technician a friends suggested I look at the public service. So I decided to give it a go. Apparently over 400 people applied for graduate positions. A month or two after I had applied a received a call that I had an interview and two days after the interview I received a letter saying I was accepted.

A month later I started work not knowing where this new job would take me. Pretty soon I was in the thick of things, doing all sort of training programs which I enjoyed. I also really liked working in my team. I was part of a team that was developing new occupational standards.

Anyhow about three months into it I decided that I wanted to move from where I was living. I had been toying with idea early in the year but It did not work out so I left it. Things started to get pretty hard where I was living though, I was not getting on with my flatmate. I finally decided to go for it. I wanted to set up a new place but before I did I was hoping to find some other people who interested in setting a new place up. In particular I wanted to rent with other christians as in the last place I was at it was hard being a christian with two other people who weren’t christian, and weren’t particularly accepting of christians views. I felt I could not express my faith and be myself if I was with other christians.

Anyway I put an ad out for christian flatmates and pretty soon after one guy contacted me. Not long after that we started looking around. The trouble was unfortunately this guy was new to canberra and there were all sort of issue with id which real estate need and also the guy needed time to make sure his job was secure. In between all this I had mentioned to my flatmate that I was looking cause I wanted to do the right thing by her but she responded by getting someone in the next week to look at the place and pretty much gave me a month to move out.

It was pretty stressful at the time. I like to have things planned out and my boss noticed i was pretty stressed out. It was a growing experience for me, I had to learn to trust god. After a couple of stressful weeks being upset with my flatmate and then having to sort accomodation and then having to find a third person because the place i was trying to rent was too expensive for only two to take on eventally things fell into place. Finally I had a place and two christian guys who were pretty descent and I could move in. Unfortunately things were still rocky for a couple weeks after that as there were maintainance issues with house and I had to sort bond out with my exflatmate. At the time I was praying and handing things to god. Eventually though things worked out. The house was fixed up and I got my bond and I was finding that I really enjoyed living with these two guys steve and Mick. Also I was blessed to get some cheap second hand furniture (which was still in pretty good nick).

Things were just starting to look on the up and up and then I came down with the flu. This year health wise has been quite tough I have been unfortunate enough to catch the flu or virus about three time now. The hardest thing I found was the first time I caught the flu it went on and on and I felt so lonely and frustrated. Even when I got over the flu I felt that loneliness and anxiety and have been struggling with my emotions. Its really hard to explain.

The positive side is through it all I have had supportive friends who have encouraged me and prayed with me and a couple really caring pastors who have been there for me. I also had things to look forward to like a couple of camps I went on with the other ABS graduates down the south coast of NSW. It was great to get away and a get chance to take photos. I hadn’t gone camping since high school but I found it really enjoyable, much better than the school camps. Recently I have also gone on a ski trip at thredbo.

South Coast Trip- Mimosa Rocks

In the last month or two I started stepping out more and invited people over and meeting people for lunch. I have also got involved in the ABS social club. Its been great to meet people. I will also getting involved in the public service soccer comp.More recently I have been blessed with one of my flat mates relatives leaving there gym equipment here as they were moving so we have our own portable gym. plus not long ago I got a boxing back as I have been keen for ages to get into boxing.

Although I have been involved in some exciting things up until about a week and a half I ago some felt wrong. I felt this massive rejection. I could not understand it. Growing up I didn’t find it easy, I went through bullying and low self esteem and felt lack of love. But I have gone through a tremendous amount of healing over the last three years and so I was asking myself why suddenly did I feel this rejection. I got a few people to pray for me but that didn’t seem to help much except for moral support.Then one and a half weeks ago, a guy from the mens group I go to prayed for me ,at one of our dinners. It was amazing, the first words that come out of his mouth were that I had rejection in my life. After the prayer I felt joy I felt happy. He encouraged me to read the bible more and pray and a couple days later I felt happier than I had for ages. I felt like suddenly I had a purpose in life.

Recently in my men’s group (the full gospel business men’s fellowship international) I feel like god is actually speaking to me. A number of times I have got a word of encouragement and someone else confirmed it or someone got a word and I was thinking the exact same thing. I also feel like I am making a difference at my work, touch lives around me. One of the graduates who left said she appreciated me keeping in contact and making and effort. I also feel that I can in some small way make a difference to the abs through the social club and through reaching out to graduates new and old.

I am also excited about getting involved in the letter-a-ton out side of work where I will write letter to persuade countries to free christians. A organisation called the tears of the oppressed are organising it. Apparently they have made a difference in the past through having christians freed or there sentence reduced.

So in short this year I have:Started a new job and found a new place and new flat mates. I have begun to step, organising and managing the house, meeting people, going camping and taking up some new hobbies and joining the social club. I have learnt to stand up for my self and the importance of dealing with conflict before things get out of hand like they did with my ex flat mate. I have learnt that god can heal hurts and take away pain. I feel like I now have a greater sense of purpose. I feel a greater sense of confidence. I feel I have a mission to touch lives in the abs and to get involved in organisations like the tears of the oppressed. I also feel like I have something to contribute academically through writing papers at the abs on education statistics, which is the new section I am working in.

At the same time I have struggled with change, pain and sickness but I have come through these and although there are things which I am still at this point working through i know god is there and he has the answers. I just wish sometimes things happened a little quicker.

Well I hope what I have written will be an encouragement to others who also have gone through ups and downs in life and also to those who are still struggling with down part. I pray that those that read this will come to know that there is a god out there (Jesus Christ) who cares and who wants us to live an abundant life. He does not expect us to be perfect just to humble ourselves, be honest and trust in him and he will come through, you just have to believe in him and what he has done for you.

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